Saturday, April 18, 2009

Berserker Barrage

I've been meaning to post about this for about a week now, but I kept forgetting.

Exactly a week ago I was house sitting for someone, and in their collection of entertainment was X-Men Origins: Wolverine. Now, let me just preface this with my relationship with Marvel Comics. I grew up on Marvel Comics, always preferring them to DC, until Image came along with titles like Youngblood, Savage Dragon, and Spawn, among some other things. Then at some point, Marvel started making movie adaptations of their franchise staples, such as X-Men, Spiderman, and the Fantastic Four.

The problem is/was that all of those movies are bad. There is no arguing to convince me. I don't like any of them. Spiderman flicks are weak, Fantastic Four is ├╝ber campy, and X-Men is just pure drivel. Set aside the inconsistancies and the omissions, the movies are just done poorly. Out of those three series, the only sole film worth recognition is X2.

Blade was never a staple in the house that Stan built, but the first movie in the series was incredible, the second was exciting and entertaining, and the third tried too hard to follow-up on what the first two films had already done. Regardless, sometimes you have to break a few eggs to make an omlette (allow the movies to be R). Along came Iron Man and The Icredible Hulk (not Hulk), both of which were amazing to see! Did Marvel get their mojo back?

Hardly. The whole purpose of Wolverine is that the character is a fan favorite. People love Hugh Jackman as the Canadian beast. The problem is, Marvel took a film I initially didn't want anything to do with, to almost making it look convincing to me, to me losing interest again, to me seeing it and coming to a final verdict.

Wolverine is a big, hot, steaming pile of elephant dung! I know, I know! You really want to see it! I'm not telling anyone not to see it (although I really am), but what I am saying is that nobody, and I mean nobody, should spend....no...waste $10 to see this film! Like any movie, some things in it work, but the majority fails to live up to anything worth a fan's excitment. Nevermind that the leaked version was incomplete. The unfininshed scenes and cables showing on the actors does nothing to take away from the experience. If anything, it adds flavor a pot of vegan gumbo. The acting in this film is fine, but the storyline is extremely flawed, among other things comic book fans may find troubling (I'm looking in your direction, Deadpool).

If you decide to waste your time, stay for the credits to get a hint for a sequel.



Ugh...

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